im 23. i still feel the same, maybe
they say it gets better. i guess it has. time heals. it does. its hard for me to remember just how hard it was four years ago. but i know it was. i know that i was frozen and i was so so so scared of everyone. and i remember more years ago … pretty much as far back as i can remember … all i wanted was to die. i didnt know what happiness was until i was 17. people always say your childhood days were the best of your life and they wish they were five again and i just stare in wonder. having no responsibilities doesnt mean you will be happy. im happy now. most of the time. but its still hard. it still comes back.
will i ever be free?
will i ever be the girl i dream of?
i like to be alone most of the time
i guess i do. the more alone i am, the more used i am to it. but i know im happier surrounded by love and laughter … but being around people doesnt mean youre not alone. not quite. sometimes when im around people i feel more alone than if i wasnt.
is it all in my head, what they said?
i ruin my own life just for nothing
im always afraid of wasting time and wasting life. i know i could be so much more. but i dont do it. i fall into the same old comfortable habits and watch my dream girl crumble to dust
i drive fast so i can feel something